Often my gf states “I’m sorry” during a disagreement at a point where i am evidently too annoyed to know that. We respond, “We’m maybe not seeking an apology, that isn’t the things I want. I am just wanting to let you know what’s happening.”
I am gambling she actually is attempting to smooth things over or proceed to another type of stage associated with the talk/arguement where things begin to relax a bit down. By admitting she is incorrect or sorry, she is attempting to move ahead. You but have been in a different spot, nevertheless furious and that is fine, however you need certainly to realize where this woman is and exactly what she actually is attempting to do and accept it for just what it really is.
You might state “we hear you and many thanks for stating that (or “i’m sorry too, for X), but i am nevertheless only a little angry right now, therefore I require a little bit of time or want to get X off my upper body,” regardless of the full situation might be.
The comforter to me, my job is to be the reassure-er.
Which is one boring task and huge burden and may even 1 day blow up in that person, while you feel you have for ages been the comforting one, but whom comforts you? A relationship is a two method road, not just is she allowed to be here for you personally however you’re designed to allow her to be here for your needs. You are nevertheless peoples, flesh and bloodstream, with requirements and wishes, that you never, never need to be comforted so I find it hard to believe. Honestly, your mindset here’s a bit patronizing of one’s SO, that she needs comforting and you never do as it seems to signal. Then why be in a relationship with you, is she just someone to keep you company and have sex with if that’s the case? (more…)